No one was born the same, not even a set of twins. Sometimes, what we do, who we are, our goals are shaped by our environment and what we perceive as necessary.

You just turned 14, your parents get you a phone and you are elated. Everyone at school is going to see it and you can't wait to show your friends. You were the last to get a phone in your friend group but what does it matter, it's here now. Fast forward to the day, they’re all happy you’ve gotten one now, “you should download TikTok, let’s all follow each other”You are overjoyed by the idea, it finally feels good to be included in something, especially TikTok. Everyone was using it.

You wake up in the morning and it’s the first thing you go on, you barely do your morning exercises and spend hours laying on your back scrolling, just one more video and I’ll get up turn hours.

For days now, you start noticing things you’ve never noticed before: the gap between your legs, your widows peak, hip dips, slight slouch, the clothes you wear, the way your talk, unresolved trauma, what to eat, what to buy before it sells out, it needed to be fixed. All the videos you’ve seen talked about how to fix something you didn’t know was there or ever saw as a problem but now it was and needed fixing.

Subconsciously you start falling into the loop, you had to get the outfit a new brand just popped up with if not you’re missing out and that isn’t an option, the only thing holding you back is money, I mean you’re just 14.

You go the next few months, fixing and trying to fix things about yourself to fit into the moving crowd, but in as much as you want to be part of a community, you still want to be different so when you claim to stand out, it’s the things the “niche” community recommends, so are you really different or do you want people to think you’re different? You copy the routine that one influencer swears by, you don’t know what it does but it’s definitely trendy and everyone is doing it. Everyone is wearing it, everyone is eating healthy for another 30 day challenge so you avoid sugar like a plague…. It seems harmless, a great lifestyle, but is that what you really want to do? Was there anything wrong with your diet to begin with? Your clothes? The way you talked? Your whole being?

Individuality is a dying art and no one is to blame. Today might be something else, tomorrow something different, no one really wakes up and decide they hate who they are even when they haven’t tried to get to know themselves, they hate how different they are, it’s a gradual development. A tree doesn’t become a tree in a day. You can’t hate someone you don’t know so the question is, do you hate yourself or the version projected to you?

You’re not behind, you’re just building your own lane