Hmm, wetin my eyes see for NYSC.

I remember when I was serving at the Defence Headquarters in Abuja.

This was actually one of the reasons I said I didn't want to end up with a uniformed husband.

Because tell me why it almost felt like some of these men hadn't seen women before. If you were new there, it was almost a competition to see who could make you their side chick.

Anyway, there was this married man who took an interest in me. He liked gisting and would often come to my office to check in on me.

At first, I was quite naive about the whole thing and genuinely thought he was just being nice. I didn't read anything into it.

Now, there was this lady I had become quite close to. We all used to sit together and gist, and I genuinely thought we were on the same page.

In fact, this friendship was quite refreshing for me. She treated me like a little sister, told me about her handsome boyfriend who wasn't in the country, and would occasionally gist me about him.

I had visited her apartment a couple of times, and she had even taken me around some places in Abuja.

So, naturally, I thought we were good.

Tell me why, one faithful morning, this same babe called me into the bathroom for a chat.

Apparently, she wanted to warn me about stealing her man.

HER MAN!

Never in my wildest dreams did I think I would find myself in that position.

I was like, "Ah! Who exactly are you talking about?"

And she called his name.

My dear, I was SHOCKED.

I couldn't even understand what was happening. This was a married man, and someone was confronting me as though I was trying to take another woman's property.

I remember thinking, "So out of all the men in this world, na this one you are dragging me for?"

There are so many fish in the sea, and this is the one we're fighting over?

And the funny thing was that I genuinely hadn't known there was anything going on between them, but how would I, when he had a whole wife.

It was only much later that I discovered that this man actually wanted to date me. So, apparently, what I had initially interpreted as friendly gestures had a different intention.

Hmmm.

That experience taught me a thing or two about people and friendships. Sometimes, the people you think are looking out for you may not necessarily have the best intentions.

And perhaps more importantly, not every interaction needs to be entertained, especially when you don't know what someone else's intentions are.

You know what they say about keeping your enemies closer? Well, I guess I got a little lesson in that during my NYSC days. 😂

And that's just my two cents.

This was also a memory from secondary school.

There was this guy, one of the popular ones. I had a feeling he liked me, but I didn't know how much or why he would, since I was just the shy corner girl.

We definitely used to exchange looks, and he would speak up for me or try to get my attention at times. Lol. High school crushes were really the cutest.

Now, we were coming back from one particular break (I can't even remember which one), but this guy had a habit of returning later than everyone else. Apparently, that was a cool thing to do.

I always begged my mum to let me try it, but she never agreed. Parents and their rules, abeg!

Anyway, around that period, the famous Valentine's Day was approaching. You know how it was back then. People would try to shower their crushes or girlfriends with gifts in whatever way they could, even in a school that didn't permit provisions or nice things in general.

Unknown to me, this guy had given his friend a couple of gifts and a letter professing his feelings for me. The plan was for his friend to hide them in my locker so I could find them when I got to the hostel.

Awww. Cute, right?

Well, hold that thought.

Tell me why, just before I could even open my locker, our house matrons decided to conduct a random search for contraband.

And guess who was caught with the evidence? ME!

I was summoned and questioned about the items they had found. And when I was threatened with the possibility of my parents being called (the same parents who had warned me not to talk to boys, as how na?), I entered full damage-control mode.

I denied the existence of this guy o!

In fact, I went as far as saying that maybe he was someone who was obsessed with me because I had absolutely no idea why he would think he should buy me gifts or write me a letter.

Hmmm. I thought that would be the end of it.

But I forgot that these matrons were also human beings with their own gist networks.

Tell me why my matron went to tell his matron what had happened, and somehow, the gist got back to him.

This guy came to the class to confront me about the nasty things I had supposedly said about him.

And just like that, whatever love story was supposed to happen between us came to an abrupt end.

In fact, we became serious enemies!

Looking back, I guess we were both hurt and projecting that hurt in different ways. I was trying to save myself from trouble at home, while he probably felt embarrassed and rejected.

Hmmm. Secondary school love was not for the weak.

Anyway, my advice? Never underestimate the power of school gossip, and never assume your house matron doesn't have a direct line to everybody else's matron.

And that's just my two cents.

These days, I just sit back and remember some of the memories that made me laugh or cry. And honestly, some of them? Hmmm.

So, I’m thinking of doing a little series about the shege I saw before I met my husband.

You know how back in the day, when you started talking to someone new, there was always that fun question: “What’s your most embarrassing moment?”

I don’t think I can remember enough to rank them, but there’s one I will never forget.

Back in secondary school, I had this HUGE crush on one guy. I thought he was the one.

Why? Because we came from the same state and had the same birthday date. Interesting, right?

In my head, that was enough evidence. We could literally pass for twins.

But tell me why, on this fateful day, this guy was standing outside his classroom, chatting with his friend just after our afternoon prep was over.

And just like I had seen in the movies, I decided to strut.

Walk that walk, girl!

Only for me to end up inside the gutter, right in front of him and his friend.

As if that wasn’t bad enough, this guy laughed SO HARD. He was pointing at me, bending over, holding his stomach. This was not ordinary laughter, please.

Sigh.

I had to pick myself up and rush back to my class.

Best believe I cried. I was that embarrassed.

Smh. I wonder if that incident contributed to the crazy shyness I had back then.

Anyway, a little tip from me: Never attempt to do a catwalk close to a gutter in front of the guy you like. You never know how that story will end.

And that’s just my two cents.

To be continued…? 👀

It was just another morning, and I woke up with my thoughts.

I know she’s going through something unimaginable, but why doesn’t she want to talk to me?

Is it something I said, I wondered.
Did I not call at the right time?
Did I show that I cared enough?
Why does it always feel like I’m the last person she thinks about?

Or is it happening again?

Am I looking for reasons to push another person away? I wondered.

Hmmm…

Who is wrong and who is right?
Who is the bigger person?
And who should feel hurt?

It would be insensitive to bring anything up now because it’s not a good time. But then again, would that time ever come?

Friendships can be so fragile, and I don’t think enough attention is given to how much a friend can hurt you or even break your heart.

Your feelings are very much valid.

But I would say this: stay where you are appreciated. And if you’ve had to overthink things too many times, wondering whether you are the problem or not, maybe that relationship just isn’t for you.

Sometimes, you have to give things time. Sometimes, you have to give people space. And sometimes, you have to give yourself permission to stop forcing a relationship to make sense.

Well, that’s just my two cents.

Adios.